


snow

by 83lines



Series: heart and home [1]
Category: Super Junior
Genre: 83line, Angst with a Happy Ending, EunHae if you squint, M/M, Slow Burn (kinda), Taeyeon is mentioned, kaisoo is mentioned, post disbandment, really long im sorry omg, rest of suju is mentioned, single dad, suju is getting old i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-10
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-10-07 19:34:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17372048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/83lines/pseuds/83lines
Summary: At Christmas, Heechul would often feel the sense of lonliness. This time, he was surprised to see someone he was waiting for.





	snow

**Author's Note:**

> This is really long, around 4k words :O
> 
> But this is my first fic i'm going to post here on ao3 :DD I feel like this is overdramatic and stupid but i wrote it during the holidays and i hope you'll enjoy it my fellow 10 teukchul stans jndnjsnj ><
> 
> Also, to point out Jiwoo is not the same Jiwoo from KARD it's completely a character i randomly made up as Leeteuk's adopted daughter so i apologise for that
> 
> EDIT 16/01/18: also i realised that jongin was dating jennie from bp so im really sorry about that i wrote this during the christmas holidays so i hope you understand >__<

Snow felt down outside of Mouse Rabbit, Yesung and his brother’s owned cafe. Actually, Yesung doesn’t use that name anymore. It’s Jongwoon, but Heechul is not used to it. He notices the children playing with snow as their parents hold coffee takeaway cups having conversations. Heechul did not plan on anything for Christmas, it didn’t surprise Yesung as it’s been happening for years.

Prior to Super Junior’s disbandment, after Lee Soo-man had begged for them to “take a rest”. Unfortunately, he even threaten them saying that he would cut off their salary and record label. Leeteuk then made a choice that would angered Heechul for years to come: He would not only cut all contracts with the members but also their relationships together. The members did not speak to Leeteuk for years, and even then the media had shut him down and nobody knows who he is except he’s just from a 20 year old group called Super Junior.

The years went on, groups began drifting away like how snow does when spring arrives. But they were all mutual disbandments, as what Shindong wants to call it. Super Junior was nothing but broken apart by someone who cared for them so much. It was a battle between the rest of the group and only Leeteuk. The only safe place he would go to is his home. Even so, Heechul had always have a gut inside his heart that felt like he needed him. He was tired. 

It kept falling. The cafe felt quieter now, only Heechul and a family of two children who he assumes the dads happen to be Jongin and Kyungsoo. He knows the news of the two lovebirds. Of course, everyone who Heechul knew soon found love after their contracts has ended. While it took time, some of them get married or stayed the same as decades ago. The last relationship Heechul ended was with Hani, it felt bittersweet but they stayed in touch. It used to be that he would come home and see his family. Leeteuk setting up the Christmas Tree, Eunhyuk and Yesung fighting over who gets to eat all the pudding, Donghae attempting to make a gingerbread house and Sungmin’s daughter being the cheeky adorable baby while playing with Heechul’s controller. 

Now it’s just him. It wasn’t upsetting and it was nice to be alone, but about these memories made him feel uneasy about snow and Christmas. That thought of that everybody else was continuing on with their lives and meanwhile Heechul was stuck with nothing to look forward to. He sat there, drinking up the americano Yesung has offered him. Footsteps were heard and Yesung quickly gave the visitors a huge smile. Eunhyuk and Donghae. 

Only them. Heechul wonders about Siwon, or Ryeowook. Maybe Kyuhyun or Kangin, sometimes he thinks about Sungmin and his two daughters. He even thinks about Hangeng, perhaps Kibum and Henry floats through his head. Zhoumi and Shindong, but it’s rare though. For Leeteuk... it was like a burning fire that lures you like an angel being. How it pains him that he won’t be able to bring Leeteuk back to love him as he is. Heechul regretted it. It kept coming back like deja vu.

Heechul’s mind suddenly goes blank, when he hears Donghae’s voice echoing across the cafe. Eunhyuk looks at Heechul for a brief second before giving him a thumbs up, at least someone was nice enough to greet him. Soon, Yesung starts preparing the coffee and slices of cakes. Heechul would make the dumb choice to give Eunhyuk and Donghae hugs and regretting that choice later. He didn’t, thankfully.

“Hyung, you still don’t look old enough.” Eunhyuk whines to Heechul.

Heechul gave him a steering look before Donghae snickers behind him.

“I totally don’t look old enough.” Heechul echoes sarcastically. The three had taken their seats, passing Jongin and Kyungsoo along with their daughter Nini. Donghae does cooing faces to Nini which led to Kyungsoo telling him to shut up which makes Jongin laugh. 

“Parents don’t seem to like you that much, Donghae.” Yesung blurs out. Donghae glares at him, “Shush Jongwoon, I know how to take care of children!” 

“But you don’t Donghae, admit it.” Eunhyuk teases, tugging Donghae’s jacket.

As he was about to throw a fit in front of Eunhyuk, Yesung comes back with cake slices and each of the three’s favourite drink personally made by himself. He scratches his head out of embarrassment, the cafe was suppose to close early as Christmas was tomorrow. 

“It’s been forever since I actually sat down and talked to my former co-workers.” Yesung chuckles, sitting on the couch while eating a slice of his cake. 

“Have you seen Siwon though? He getting married!”

Eunhyuk chokes on his coffee, spilling some on Heechul’s pants (He didn’t get angry, surprisingly).

“So let me guess, some actress we don’t know of,” Eunhyuk sighs. “And I wasn’t even invited as best man for him...” 

Yesung kept blabbing about how the members and other groups were going. It was to the point, only Donghae was listening to Yesung’s rambling. Heechul wasn’t paying close attention and yet again under his thoughts. Maybe, they wouldn’t mention Leeteuk like he was Voldemort from Harry Potter. But Heechul eventually took this chance to ask, it couldn’t go wrong, could it?

“How about Jungsoo?”

The table went quiet. No one has seen him for years. Heechul took another sigh, knowing that he just ruined everybody’s mood, especially Yesung who was strongly against Leeteuk’s decision makings. Nobody took an answer. Leeteuk was forgotten by everyone. He could be outside Mouse Rabbit, looking at the memories he had with Heechul and the rest of his “family”. Or dead and gone, like a ghost that will haunt the night only to find himself alone but free. But finally, Donghae answered.

“Hyung, about that…” 

But Donghae’s train of thoughts were lost. He didn’t know what else to say but to nod with understandment, when he looks at his hyung’s lost looking face. He was one of the few that knew about Leeteuk. Even Heechul didn’t know about it, which shocked him. He didn’t understand why Leeteuk would refuse to tell him where he was and why he made that path, but there was one thing for sure: Leeteuk was afraid of abandonment. He experienced from childhood all the way to adulthood. He had lost everything, even his closest friend Heechul. Nobody stayed with him. Leeteuk was used to it, he knew what was coming when he retires from being an idol. 

Heechul’s americano went cold. It didn’t matter, he knew what Donghae was thinking. How could anyone have sympathy towards someone that coldly left his group to flames and to also not reveal any of his secrets to them? He looked at the table in front of him. Eunhyuk was beginning to fall asleep. Yesung then looked at his phone, realising that Jongin and Kyungsoo had left and that he should close down for the night. The coffee stains was still on Eunhyuk’s pants and at this point he has fallen asleep on Donghae’s lap.

“Donghae-ah, you should probably get going,” Yesung says, grabbing dirty plates and mugs back to the dishwasher, “Are you sure you don’t want me to drop you guys off?”

He shakes his head, “It’s fine, I think i can handle him.”

Heechul was quick to notice that Hyukjae began to drool on Donghae’s pants, making Yesung giggle. “He’s drooling on your pants now, Dongie.”

Donghae smiles at Hyukjae, “Ah, he does it all the time so i’m used to it.” He pauses, trying to think of words to fit together his responses. “Because we share a bed together, Hyukjae always feel lonely at night so uh- we just like… comfort each other.”

His face has gone redder than a tomato, trying to hide that he’s “not close” with Hyukjae. While Yesung was finishing off the dishes, Heechul had noticed the amount of snow on the pavements that use to be just paths to different areas of the city, he gives a half smile before he felt a hand on his shoulder that is of Donghae’s. 

“I hope you have a good christmas, hyung!” Donghae grins at Heechul, while he carries a grumpy and sleepy Hyukjae by the shoulder. Yesung chuckles, reminding him of Chanyeol’s habit of crying while drunk when around his hyung. 

As Donghae leaves Mouse Rabbit, Hyukjae gave him a quick kiss against Donghae’s lips before collapsing under his arms. It was just a short kiss, but you can feel both of their hearts beating at sync when they looked at each other out of love. Peaceful, perhaps. Their love was not bombed with hatred or jealousy, it took time but they got together. 

If only that was were the case with Leeteuk and Heechul.

The sound of the tap running was turned off and both Hyukjae and Donghae had disappeared into the mist of snow. Yesung wipes his forehead, exhausted about the amount of customers coming in at Christmas Eve. 

“You can go now.” Yesung mumbled, trying to lock the door of Mouse Rabbit. Heechul checks his phone.

It’s 10:59 pm.

He realises that he better go back to his apartment, he’ll lay there thinking about the things he wished he could tell Leeteuk. Heechul regrets being angry at him, he couldn’t go back. Now things are just the way it is.

Through the Monday night, Heechul waves goodbye to Yesung who waves back to him with a smile before rushing in to the nearby train station. The children’s footprints on the snow was still there in front of the cafe, christmas lights scattered all around the street showing that Christmas was a time of celebration and love. 

For Heechul, it was a time to rest and not worry about busy schedules. The day Leeteuk left Super Junior, it didn’t feel like Christmas anymore. It was overly dramatic and stupid, but Heechul couldn’t get into the habit of greeting everyone and buying gifts. For every memory he had with Leeteuk typically of him spending the holidays around the leader, it made him either pissed off or give him that gut feeling of not being able to fix their relationship.

Luckily, Heechul’s apartment was only a few minutes away from Yesung’s cafe. He gives a sigh of relief, as it was getting late and it makes him not get any neck pain from aging. As Heechul was about to walk back to his apartment, a tug was felt on his oversized jacket.  
Heechul was about to turn around and defend himself, only to find a little girl staring at his oversized jacket. She had a face of a character from Tinkerbell: her brown hair was parted, she’s wearing a cozy looking sweater and had the cutest looking hands that could fit Heechul’s palm. 

“Excuse m-me,” The girl shied away from Heechul, looking like she was going to cry. “I lost papa…”

“Hey, don’t be afraid,” Heechul calms her down, squatting down to talk to her. “Uh, what’s your name?”

“Um, Jiwoo.” 

“It’s nice to meet you Jiwoo, my name is Heechul.” 

Heechul’s smile grew as Jiwoo tugs his jacket, making it obvious that she had grown a liking towards him.

“I know papa said I shouldn’t talk to strangers, but pretty please help me?” Jiwoo looks up at the former idol. “It seems like a hard task but, my papa is worried!”

He nods at her, brightening up Jiwoo even more. She was already the only child Heechul would actually look after. He was never good with children, it’s only been two minutes and he’s already doing better than looking after Super Junior while Leeteuk was gone. 

But Jiwoo, a fairy like child wandering around in the dark? It suspected Heechul a lot.Her father must have been drinking or becoming forgetful as to how to even take care of her. 

“I’ll find papa for you, just hold my hand okay?” He promises to Jiwoo, making sure she doesn’t cry or whine about not having her father around. 

For the first 30 minutes, Heechul with Jiwoo holding his hand was running around to random people on the streets in the night asking if they had a child named Jiwoo.

It felt like hours walking around the streets of Gwangjin District, Heechul eventually wanting to give up. But not for this girl that he knew for an hour. 

“Heechul oppa,” Jiwoo says while Heechul was about to give up.

Heechul signs while looking at her out of love.

“Jiwoo, I’m sorry.”

“How come?” Her expression becomes guiltful. 

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll find your papa.”

She pouts, looking up at the bright buildings and lack of people running to one place or another just to make it in time for Christmas. Everyone was staying up.

Heechul wanted to ask Jiwoo more. He felt as if the only way to know her father was to ask her. It could work…

“Jiwoo, do you know where you last saw your father?” Heechul asked, hoping to get a response.

Then it felt like the sound of a light bulb popped up on her head.

“He was where you were standing! I remember wondering around with a bunch of children and then he was gone…”

Heechul looks at her with pure shock. As it felt like silence, Jiwoo grabs his hand and dashes to the place she was looking for, Mouse Rabbit.

Snow began falling again. Christmas was almost here, Heechul could hear families all gathering to see the snowfall down the windows of apartments and houses. 

Jiwoo lets go of his hand.

“Papa!”

Heechul couldn’t say anything else. 

“Jiwoo! Please don’t ever scare me lik- Heechul?” 

Leeteuk.

But he looked different. It felt different when you were with him. Heechul doesn’t believe it’s him but, his voice was scarily the same. Nothing has changed except a few acne scars and his strains of grey hair, indicating that Leeteuk was getting older each day. He’s wearing a matching sweater with Jiwoo, as he showers her with kisses on the forehead. 

 

“Papa, do you know him?” Jiwoo questioned but Leeteuk didn’t answer but instead nodded at her.

He remembers how fond Heechul looks when it comes to children. Leeteuk sees the man, as someone who he loved and cared for. It had that moment when he realised that he had regretted every decision that he made (Except having Jiwoo as his own of course). He stares at Heechul, with every detail being the same as decades ago. God, Leeteuk has grown old and Heechul seemed to have decrease in age over time.

“H-Heechul...” Leeteuk mutters softly, he puts his head down and Jiwoo would try to put his head back down, whining at the fact she wants to take Uncle Heenim.

“I can’t believe it’s you.”

“Come on, you don’t get as much back pain as i do now?”

“Guess so,” Heechul shrugs, giving a smile to Jiwoo. He sighs, looking at his phone to make sure Kyung-Hoon wasn’t annoying him with missed phone calls. 

“Do you want to walk with us home?” Leeteuk doesn’t miss this chance of bringing Heechul again. He didn’t know why he wasn’t bothered to try, why he ignored everyone or why he gave up on becoming an entertainer. Maybe it was better for him to be with Jiwoo, who was a seven year old girl that understood him more than anything else aside from his shim-koong.

The unexpected happened. Heechul nodded, indicating a yes. It took him thinking but the moment he looked at Jiwoo’s puppy eyes he knew he had to say yes. It wasn’t the only reason though.

Jiwoo and Heechul trailed along with Leeteuk from the bustling city lights to the quiet residential area. Walking past, it was annoyingly dark which made Jiwoo even scared. She hides behind between Leeteuk and Heechul, tugging the two’s jackets. 

For these two, it took time to make conversation. After all, it has been decades since they have a conversation together. Leeteuk was not the type that liked conversations while Heechul did not like awkward silence between him and another person. Their minds were off to something different, not with each other.

As if they have been walking for hours, Jiwoo groans and attempts to walk slowly to get their attention. Somehow, it didn’t work making her irritated. She was quite aware about Heechul and Leeteuk’s thing, thanks to Taeyeon one of Leeteuk’s only drinking friends. Taeyeon would often come over and drunk talk to Jiwoo about how him and Heechul were a thing, which was the reason why Leeteuk cut off relationships.

“Have you two fell in love with each other?”

Onwards, Jiwoo would need to think twice but it was worth the risk as Leeteuk started to giggle when looking at Heechul’s embarrassed face.

“Jiwooooo, I’m not in love anymore! That yucky stuff was decades ago,” Heechul whines, giving Leeteuk a nudge in which he snorted, hobbling towards the old man.

“You’re so old, what do you except when you get rejected by idols?”

“Old hag, you are Park Jungsoo that also can’t get laid b-”

Leeteuk wacks Heechul in the head lightly, making Jiwoo laugh.

“Dumbass, you know there’s a child right there!”

“Aw, how cute you called me dumbass, keep trying.”

Jiwoo kept giggling with Leeteuk and Heechul realising that they are going to make her faint from laughter. They both smile at each other, for the first time. Heechul was surprised that he had already dig that hole to save Leeteuk from his nightmare of thoughts. 

Leeteuk looked genuinely happy, with them talking about the latest trends (In which, Leeteuk hasn’t been caught up to), how the dating law proposed by Seungri ended up passing which allowed idols to date and other unnecessary topics like Starbucks or how much they have been walking.

The more Heechul walked with the two member family, the closer he physically got to Leeteuk. It felt like something was connecting again. But, Leeteuk was seen as a betrayer. Why was it so difficult to piece him together? 

Then, they arrived at Leeteuk’s apartment. Heechul rather calls him Jungsoo, not this MC Idol that he was forced to grown into. It was still the same. Modern and minimal, aside from the dirty stains of the ceiling Jungsoo was never bothered to clean up. Shim-koong got fluffier, but still the tiny fluff ball she is. Jiwoo cooes Shim-koong, chasing her around the living room.

Jungsoo has changed a lot. It wasn’t the arrogant personality he has on the old screens of tapes in 2012 but more of a calm and relaxed Jungsoo. Almost as if he had forgotten about his past and present self. But he smiles at himself, putting down Jiwoo’s mini backpack on the hangers against the wall as he turns on the stove realising that Christmas was in less than two hours.

Heechul’s gentle hands pet Shim-koong as the puppy princess jumped around playfully, she always loved it when Uncle Hee would come to play with her and lay on top of her. If there was one thing Heechul missed the most apart from Jungsoo is definitely playing around with Shim-koong. But things have changed. Jiwoo is the more bubbly and energetic and runs around with Shim-koong, while Heechul watches by the couch occasionally giving Shim-koong a small pet or wave. Jungsoo gently holds Shim-Koong, although Jiwoo complaining that she wasn’t able to hold her longer. 

“Heechul-ah, are you sure you want to stay here for Christmas?” Jungsoo asked, still holding Shim-Koong while pouring two glasses of water.

Heechul softly smiled, it felt satisfying yet bittersweet seeing each other for the first time. Jiwoo was lying down in the couch, rolling herself up and down still grumbling about food.

“Pleeeease please Heechulie, I don’t want to be lonely.” 

“Jiwoo, you have Shim-Koong.”

“You have her though, Papa!”

Jungsoo chuckles, as he prepares last minute meals for Heechul and Jiwoo. It was funny for Heechul. The first time someone has invited him for dinner in a few months. The last time was with Siwon, it was probably another thing Heechul regrets. Siwon was not in a good mood at that time and he had stormed off the moment Heechul defended Jungsoo. 

In fact, Heechul wonders what made him love Jungsoo. There was something so special about him Heechul could not pinpoint, but it lingered through his mind and it what made him defend Jungsoo from all the hatred from his ex group members to colleagues. 

He stares at the clock against the wall. Time always passed by, it went faster now that they were getting older. Jungsoo continues to cook as Jiwoo flip through the channels on the television, still wondering if they ever had a thing for each other.

Heechul coughs in nervousness, looking around before standing up to see Jungsoo in the kitchen. There was a strange feeling he had between him, this feeling he couldn’t feel to no one. Not even to Siwon or Hangeng. Jungsoo looks at him, raising an eyebrow. He didn’t know what to say, awkwardness was in the air again.

“Okay, I’m sorry, I’m never good at talkin-” Heechul stumbles again, he looks away at Jungsoo feeling embarrassed. “It’s just it-”

“Been a while.” 

“Correct, Teukkie,” Heechul says quietly, it was the first time Jungsoo had seen him like this. It used to be Jungsoo being the quiet yet emotional one, it’s not Heechul. “So about Jiwoo…” 

“Jiwoo was my adopted daughter. I remember seeing her while browsing my social media. When I asked the adoption center about her, the lady had told me she quite a different child compared to most of the fostered children,” Leeteuk held out a sigh, putting down Shim-Koong to play with Jiwoo in the living room.

“She’s smarter than you think, Chullie. Jiwoo knows so much about me, even at six.”

“Jiwoo must be a blessed child, have you took her to Siwon’s?”

Jungsoo wheezed.

“That joke is getting old.”

“I had to, olddie.”

The apartment was quiet again, only the sounds of old Christmas songs were playing.

Heechul’s heart was beating again. If only he wasn’t so scared to even tell Jungsoo about this. He was in love. Dumb and cliche, he fell for Jungsoo more than anything else. He hopes this fairytale will start again but with a happy ending instead.

“Teukkie?”

Jungsoo turns around again, the oven beeps loudly and he realises what made Heechul come here. 

“Remember that question Jiwoo asked while we were walking to your plac-”

“I’m in love with you, Kim Heechul.”

Heechul looks at Jungsoo like the universe was meant for them to be together. They were almost at their 50s yet, He runs up to him like it was a sappy old drama and he cries softly. 

It was a silent cry, but Jungsoo had also began to sob hugging and kissing Heechul’s forehead. He did not understand how after all these years, Heechul never gave up and lived his life to wait for him. This feeling of realising how his perfect fairytale was coming together.

Every fight they had, Heechul would cry with him and comfort him through the night. The day Jungsoo had left himself, Heechul locked his apartment but continued his work as an entertainer in hopes of bringing himself love and reuniting with the person he has been with for over a decade. The stars had appear to Heechul when he saw Jungsoo smile and laugh with him. It was clear that Heechul was longing for Jungsoo. Jiwoo can see the love between them, even if it was awkward silence and dumb jokes about them being old.  
Heechul had never showed emotions but when he did, he cried all over for Jungsoo. His hand held the universe, the universe was Park Jungsoo. The world did not believe for the two to connect, but the two found each other again. They found peace again, even for this fracture of a second.

“I love you Heenim. I really do,” Jungsoo cried hugging Heechul and he couldn’t wait to finally be able to wake up to see him all over again like it was a fairytale.

Before, the world put them together. It took them so long, it would take them decades. Now, it was connecting. Jungsoo and Heechul looks at each other, but instead of shock like a few hours ago it was love and comfort.

“Let me introduce you to Jiwoo."


End file.
